Let’s be real: saving money is hard. It requires a level of self-discipline, that quite frankly, isn’t really built into our culture. We are consumers. It seems it is hardwired for us to shop our way into happiness. Everywhere you turn, there is stuff {and I’ll admit, lots of it is really, really cool}. It is affordable too, though, probably not in the quantities we consume it. In fact, we have more stuff, more debt, more, more, more than any generation, and yet, we can’t seem to save MORE.
I ran across an article on treehugger recently that talked about frugality in previous generations. They faced similar problems we face {low paying jobs, unemployment, health issues, lack of education, etc.} and yet, they were way more frugal. They saved for a rainy day. They used all of their resources up before buying the latest and greatest.
Our grandparents had waaay less than we have–smaller houses, one car, no cable, no internet–and in some ways, maybe that made saving more simple? There weren’t so many temptations? We have Netflix, big box stores, 24 hour grocery access, gourmet coffee shops, iPhones, multiple cars, and the list goes on. They simply didn’t. Are all of those temptations causing us to spend our way into zero-balanced savings and retirement accounts? Or are we missing something bigger, like the fundamental willingness to endure MINOR discomfort? Treehugger called it an “entitlement problem”…our generation feels entitled to the finer things, even if they are adding up in ways we can’t afford.
This year, in my effort to not spend a.single.penny on something I don’t genuinely NEED, my eyes have been opened to how easy it is to “make do” with what you already have, when your ability to pop out and buy something goes bye-bye. I like to consider myself pretty resourceful and innately frugal, but this is bringing out a resourcefulness in me that maybe has been laying dormant. What if saving is like quitting sugar or caffeine? It’s really hard at first, but then pretty soon you don’t even notice the discomfort?
I really don’t know what my point is on this one, so much as I thought this was an interesting article and really wanted to send it out to you for your thoughts. So, what are your thoughts? Are we entitled? How do YOU fight this easy-to-fall into non-saving pattern?
~Mavis
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Lesley says
Mavis, I think about exactly this point quite often, because I am frugal because I WANT to be, not because I HAVE to be. It’s more of a “first-world hobby” than a necessity … yet I feel I’m a better person because of the insight it gives me about doing without, being resourceful, using my creative mind, making do with what I have, etc. You raise excellent points and I think there are a lot of us out here on the same journey as you … simplifying our lives and realizing just how debilitating our consumer culture can be in terms of developing human beings who aren’t just soulless consumers. Keep it up, Mavis! Awesome messages.
Jeanie says
My husband and I were recently driving from one side of our town to another and couldn’t help but notice the abundance of food billboards. My husband said it is no wonder so many folks are overweight….the food ads are constantly in your face and they all look so appealing, even if you aren’t hungry! I used to own a magazine and I know all about the consumer mindset and playing into it.
At this stage of life, we don’t have to count every penny but we have are really quite frugal compared to our peers. The place we notice a difference is in our children. i have never seen them suffer through a week of ramen noodles or canned green beans over rice like we used to back in our starting out days. They are much quicker to borrow from us which they always pay back but it just never would have occurred to my husband or myself that this was an option back in our early days.
Kirsten G says
There is a huge sense of entitlement these days. We live in society that is very self-centered and wants everything now, I do admit that I fall into wanting things right away and not wanting to wait. I’m trying to change that even more so now that I have children. It takes a lot of self-discipline not to fall into the constant barrage of ads and people saying to buy something just for the sake of spending money.
Carla says
Children are not taught to save. It is a learned habit. They are not taught to be creative but to buy.
Stacey says
I think having access to so much stuff quickly is one of the problems. I was raised to be frugal and was quite good at saving. But once I got out of college and started my first job I must admit that I strayed a bit. I found myself sitting in a Starbucks drinking a $4 coffee (not my first one of the day mind you) wondering why I had money problems. Talk about a light bulb moment! My husband and I realized it was best to get back to our frugal roots. We want to be a good example for our two sons.
Adhley says
Not only are we entitled, we don’t think about how more stuff is a burden. Once we have the stuff we have to store the stuff, clean the stuff, maintain the stuff. Oh no what if something happens to the stuff? We better insure the stuff!
Donna says
George Carlin had a really funny, but true, bit about stuff – to the point of buying a bigger house to store the stuff!
Helen in Meridian says
You will love Downton. It was my Birthday, but I was most excited about The Downton Hours last night. In Idaho the PBS volunteers for Pledge Week were called The Poor Ediths. They have fascinator little hats and hair accessories. Poor Edith.
Andrea says
We are inundated from birth with the suggestion to buy things. There is advertising around us 24/7 trying to get us to buy things. Companies are vying for our attention to buy their stuff. Add all of that to things being readily available to buy and you get a bad combination. The kids today especially have an entitlement attitude. My teenager expected me to buy him a car the day he turned 16 and I flat out told him he would have to buy his own car. Then he listed all the other 16 year old kids that their parents bought them a car for their 16th birthday. He has grown up getting participation awards for doing nothing. In first grade field days, he would get a ribbon for just trying. So I am constantly fighting the entitlement attitude. So between the constant advertising, sheer quantity of things, peer pressure,”keeping up with the Joneses” attitude, and the everyone gets something even if they don’t try, I can totally see how people would feel entitled.
clickercricket says
yes…too many ads, and too many choices. i love sewing on buttons, repairing rips in clothing, and darning socks. mavis…do you own a ‘darning egg’? it used to be in every woman’s sewing kit. please post a photo of one if you do….very few will be familiar with the object. a house used to be for living in….now they are warehouses for all our ‘stuff’. we must even rent storage units to house more of our ‘stuff’ we don’t have room for in our ‘warehouses’. savings accounts used to rack up a tidy sum in interest, but no more. it takes an iron will to combat consumerism.
Martha says
lol…My mom used a lightbulb to darn socks. Frugal indeed.
Lee Ann says
For sure we are entitled. I daresay that many, not all, expect to have the best no matter the cost nor how they get it. Not only that I think we all assume we will graduate from college and get a high paying job right afterwards. No working the way up the ladder, no paying their dues. So many in society have been never been told no and they don’t know how to handle it when it does happen.
Amanda says
To be fair, a lot of that is just unrealistic expectations, not necessarily entitlement.
I was an only child and an only grandchild for awhile. I was raised in a way that if mom and dad said no, ask my grandparents. This has affected me negatively in some ways, and positively in others. A lot of it was learning what was worth it, what wasn’t, and how to compromise.
I expected a high paying job after college because I was majoring in Engineering. Guess what? I got a high paying job. And now I don’t expect money from anyone, and give back to my parents for taking care of me through my life.
Catherine Foster says
My father was a Depression-era survivor (went from being rich to poor quickly), so I’ve internalized his frugality and his stories. Charity food baskets, a single orange in a Christmas stocking, children’s clothes made from grownups ‘. People who ate only oatmeal for six months and cannot stand it today. Love FHB (Family Hold Back), which is what moms would tell their families when they’d sit down to dinner and see relatives “drop by” for a meal. So, I don’t throw out food, don’t buy too many clothes and I make them last. I’m grateful for all he taught me and hope I can pass some of it down to my daughter.
Marcia says
Being frugal takes practice. Some people are good at it because they practice. Some people never practice.
There’s also a difference between forced and voluntary. If you are doing it voluntarily, it can be “fun” or a “game” or a “challenge”.
If you are forced into it, it wears on your brain and can really be detrimental. Poverty is exhausting.
I don’t see that it’s necessarily a generational thing. I’m an X-er, and my siblings and I are all different. Of 9 of us, 7 are frugal and 2 are not. It’s just random.
I understand that some people think entitlement is bad. In some cases, it is. “Kids don’t want to pay their dues.” Well, let’s think about that. When I graduated and got a job, it was fairly common for people to stay in one company for a long time. So sure, you paid your dues. But now? Companies come and go – and they aren’t exactly loyal to the employees. So why wouldn’t young people be more demanding? Why should they wait until they have 10 years in to get a flexible schedule, or more money, or …?
Plus some entitlement comes with increasing standard of living. I would not expect any new grad with any kind of job to live without internet or cell phone. It’s expected. And even at work, it’s expected that they get to use my data for free!!
Some entitlement is bad. You know with internet and cable, it’s too easy to compare yourself to what you see on TV. Yeah, I watched Will Smith on TV but never really thought I should live like that. But now? Who doesn’t want to pop in for a coffee at Starbucks, or grab a burger, or look fashionable in the latest clothing? When did you last wear something out? (My spouse and I were folding laundry last night and I found 4 socks that I need to darn. He said “you know socks are cheap”. “Yes, but it will take me 20 minutes to darn 4 socks, and that’s cheaper.”
Some of it just takes awareness, and practice. And honestly, not comparing yourself to others. Hedonistic adaptation is a thing. “Can’t get a new car for much less than $45k, even a Civic is $30k!” (Umm…my Civic was under $20k, and you do NOT “need” an Acura SUV just because you had a baby!!)
Mavis says
Great point. Choosing frugality is very, very different than honest to goodness struggling to make ends meet. The second is stressful and gets old really fast.
Mable says
Not everyone longs to go to Starbucks or look fashionable in the latest clothing…I have never been to Starbucks and neither my husband nor I buy new clothes unless something has worn out. I don’t care about being “in fashion” because I have no interest in conformity or in filling the coffers of self-obsessed, over-paid designers who do not contribute anything of value to society.
Marcia says
Yes! I got invited to home “fashion parties” a few years ago, and I started to wonder. “Do my friends think I’m into fashion??”
Or are they telling me that I should be…?
Long story short, I did go, and found some nice, well made, fashionable clothing that flattered me and actually fits comfortably (the main issue). And even better, some of the styles are classic and “stand the test of time”. So I wear them, I love them, and they flatter me.
But it also means that I turned down FOUR similar invitations last fall because – well, why do I need new clothing?
If you choose right the first time, take care of your clothing, and maintain your body weight/ size, you’re good (I had two kids after 35 though, so my body weight did move around).
Ellen in Clackamas says
Back in “the Olden days” I set up house for myself and my daughter while my new husband was away in the Navy. When he came back he hated the fact that we didn’t have a color TV (told you it was in the Olden days!). Plus all my furniture was hand me down–most out of my folks and grands attics. I asked him why he thought we needed new stuff and he said “your folks have new, matching stuff” and I told him, yes…but they worked for it and saved for years to get it. Not him. He went down to the local furniture store and put a whole house full of furniture on credit. We were still paying off when we got divorced 8 years later! ….So I think an attitude thing and not just a generational thing!!!
Marcia says
At some point, a coworker of mine told me that I was going to want matching furniture. At the time, I was 28 or 29. Our apartment was furnished in what I call “late college/ early Navy”. (Hubby and I were both in the Navy for 5 years.)
Well, I’m 45, and still waiting for that to kick in. We have hand-me-downs (end table), yard sale finds (kitchen table), Craigslist find (boys’ bunk bed), handmade stuff (coffee table), overstock (TV stand), newly purchased (bedroom suite – newly purchased in 1994, that is). Nothing matches, and who really cares.
Mavis says
I think you have that whole “be happy with what you have,” mentality truly figured out. It is such a great quality!
Lisa says
I’m coming up on 50 and I still don’t even have a headboard. My dresser was in the storage area of an apartment that we lived in when we got married (22 years ago) and I paid the management company $5 for it. My husband’s dresser came out of my old room. Our couch and two chairs we bought new and were quality back in 2002. They need to be re-upholstered, but otherwise they’re holding up great.
Renay says
I also think that part of it subsidizing others choices While we work for money to save, buy things, and pay bills, taxes and fees, etc. are taken to pay for other peoples things. I was reading an article the other day about poverty and how people today are not really that poor compared to poverty of years ago. People on all the different forms of welfare have cars, homes, food, clothes, cell phones, TVS health care, etc. all subsidized by the rest of us who work. Seattle and Bellevue now exempt apartment developers from paying property taxes if they build low income housing – property taxes that the rest of us will have to pay more for to make up the difference in wants/needs. While some may think this is a political statement, it is simply a fact of our economy and the way that money we used to be able to save is distributed about to other people.
Wendy says
I am one of those people who spend money without earning it. It’s nothing like you assume. I have been on disability most of my life…disabilities that few people live through. It took years, but I now require a power wheelchair. I get $733/month disability and $525 of that goes to pay for rent in a Section 236 HUD apartment building. That’s 72% of my income. Almost everything I own came from a thrift store. I bought a TV for $8 and get over the air TV with an antenna. My microwave was $10 or less. My cellphone is an old fashined flip phone with no internet and 250 free minutes a month. Forget about texting. It’s the kind that you have to push the button 4 times to get an S. My voice is only minimally functional, so most people just hang up on me. I use the phone mostly for doctor appointments. People on several forms of public assistance get these phones free. I have not bought any sort of new clothing in years. The last time I bought used clothes was more than a year ago. No car. It would be nice, though 🙂 It’s difficult to get to all my doctors on public transportation. I live in a special handicap accessible apartment in a senior building. As for food, I get $91/month SNAP…which is 98 cents per meal. I need to pay prescription and doctor co-pays, which take a large chunk of what’s left of my income. My big splurge is $35/month for internet. Since I rarely leave my apartment, except for health care and I cannot talk intelligibly on the phone, the internet is my window to the world and where most of my friends and support groups live. I was gifted a chromebook so I can get online. I just went 44 days without buying groceries because I was too sick for awhile, and then the wheel fell off my powerchair on February 10th. I am told it will probably be another month or more before Medicaid OK’s repair of my chair 🙁 Sorry you and others are forced to pay for people like me 🙁 I don’t have enough of what I need….let alone what I want. There is supposed to be a social contract in this country to help out the disabled. I have endured years of people despising me and not being afraid to say so….just because I was born with crummy genes. It’s really no fun at all to be a beggar. It wasn’t what I aspired to when I graduated from college.
Lisa says
Don’t let other people’s ignorance and greed make you feel bad. You know your reality, they don’t. We do have a responsibility to help those unable to help themselves and it’s horrible all the hoops and waiting you have to go through. My father was quite ill and in need of assistance and kept getting turned down. I helped where I could, but I couldn’t do everything. Some people need to be more grateful that they have good health and can help themselves. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nor should you have to explain yourself.
Lisa B. says
Agreed. When people assume it’s a choice to be poor or struggle to make ends meet, I get the feeling that they don’t understand that some things that happen in life have nothing to do with the choices a person makes. And they probably don’t realize their own luck!
Mable says
I don’t think Renay was referring to people with genuine needs and disabilities. There are many stories like yours but there are also many folks who could work and do not, who milk the system for every penny, who elect to spend their money on toys and then complain that they cannot afford food.
Marcia says
There are a lot of poor families in my school, including some kids who are homeless. Yeah, maybe they have a cell phone and get free breakfast and lunch at the school. I still wouldn’t want to switch places.
KC says
People have been trying to keep up with their neighbors in consumption and fashion for a very, very long time (see: the Romans and beyond; but it’s also well-documented that people 150 years ago in the US and England were following fashions and some lived beyond their means).
That said, we’ve definitely got 1. credit being common and usable for pretty much anything, making transactions more intangible, 2. social pressure changes (shame for not spending for a rainy day vs. shame for not “living life to the fullest”), 3. skills/resources differences (apartment living limits some frugality lifestyle choices, like gardening), 4. lifestyle differences (if you don’t have two people commuting, you might not need two cars; if your living room doesn’t need to be blog-worthy, then you can use space differently; if your children can play in public spaces and outdoors without supervision, you may not need as much space indoors to not go completely crazy)(well, and if things are better-insulated, then there’s a lower cost differential for living in a larger footprint house vs. a smaller one), and 5. a more frenetically-paced life and intake stream, which alters which options are appealing and reduces our ability to choose wisely due to sheer overwhelmedness. And that’s in addition to advertising and all the things we can buy/have being presented to us in theoretically non-advertisement sources (including, ahem, the daily roundup of things for optional consumption that appears on this blog).
(But there were some grandparents living to the limit and then going bankrupt, too. And then there are people who went too far in the “maybe this will be useful someday” direction and built themselves into a frugal but unsustainable hoarding lifestyle. Humans are humans. But you are likely to measure yourself and your lifestyle against your peer group and the media presented to you, and both are prone to inflation and have gotten inflated, so we’ve got a greater degree of problems.)
Deborah says
You are right, too much stuff. Technology is a big part of this issue, in my opinion
It is great for the ability to talk/see my daughter who is in college on the East coast, sell on ebay, get info quick, etc. but the expense to purchase computers, phones etc. just to keep up is ridiculous. The expensive things just become trash so quickly. My laptop was used when I got it and just barely gets by. There will be a point where I have to get something newer just to be able to maintain the things I do on the internet.
I only got a smart phone in the last year (not an iPhone) and my girls just had basic phones in high school when most everyone had an iPhone or some other smartphone. That was in a school district where most families were lower income. The schools also assume you have up to date technology at your home and make assignments that require you to use it.
Angela Muller says
Mavis, your post and all of the above comments are wonderful and insightful. I won’t divulge how much “stuff” I have and am trying, at this stage of my life, to turn it into cash. I think there is much more competition today, to possess, than when I was growing up. I was raised in a comfortable, middle class “development” of Cape Cod homes. Every family worked hard for what they had. Most moms stayed at home and raised the children, cooked the meals, did the laundry, etc. My mom, an excellent seamstress, made all the clothing for myself and my sister. We were always proud to show off her talent. All our neighbors lived the same kind of lives. If some had more than others, it was never evidenced by possessions. Today, however, we seem to judge the worth of a person by what they own…how many cars, computers, giant flat screens, etc. Children envy another child’s sneakers, video games, smart phones….Paring down requires being comfortable in your own skin…truly understanding who you are and what is important in life. If we still struggle with that, at least let’s try to instill a desire for a better quality of life in our children.
Amanda says
I just got engaged last Halloween, and my fiance is much more frugal than I am. Due to mental illness, I have quite a bit of debt, and don’t really care to think about it much. I was doing the minimum payment thing, and just assuming I’d be paying it forever (which is a small price for my sanity!) I have now made a budget with generous allowances for extra purchases and I am trying actively to keep to it! It’s so hard. I failed last month, but I’m ready to try again for March. My biggest help has been tracking a daily habit of not going on Amazon. That seems to have helped! SO MUCH EFFORT!
Deborah J says
I am seeing the difference in attitudes to saving and money management becoming evident now amongst friends and relatives. We are all heading into our late fifties, and looking retirement in the face.
My brother actually said to me, how ironic that you will end up better off than…some others.
That gave me pause to think…were we considered poor or struggling by him or others, just because we chose not to buy on credit, and live expansively? We were perfectly happy with our choices and didn’t feel deprived.
Did they think we didn’t have any money…because we chose not to spend it in an obvious way?
I wonder how many others succumbed to that pressure to …keep up appearances, unnecessarily.
It’s a little like the hare and the tortoise. Slow and steady to financial ease.
We lived within our means, saved, and added money to retirement plans. We saved up for what we wanted and scrimped to pay off our mortgage. We were happy to buy second hand.
We aren’t rich but will will enter our sixties debt free and not worried about finances.
Everyone makes their own choices about how they spend their money. That’s not right or wrong, it just depends on your priorities.
I think we are relieved as we enter those years where our potential to earn will begin to be limited, not to have to worry. Our choice.
Marcia says
I would tell him that it’s not ironic…it was very well planned!
Earlene says
I think the generation which my teenage grandchildren are part, feel entitled. They don’t seem to realize that some of us have what we have because we have worked 30 years to get those things. Also, getting the newest whatever and that feeling last until you walk out the door, and that feeling is very addictive. Just lately I lined up jobs for our 12 yrs old twin granddaughters. They are pretty excited to work with this goal in mind, when they graduate from high school they want to go to Disney world and know that they will need “a boat load ” of money, their words!
Mavis says
12 years old is such a great age to start saving. It will be habit by the time it really, really matters.
Nancy from mass says
I think a lot of people feel entitled. Its really sad that everyone feels they “need” a smartphone, or new car, or the latest “thing”. We live in a modest cape style house that is almost 80 years old. 2 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths in a nice neighborhood. Nothing fancy, purchased before the housing market went thru the roof. I wouldn’t be comfortable in a large cookie cutter houses that people would envy. One thing I hate about HGTV shows are the people who complain that there’s only sink in a bathroom or that a perfectly good kitchen would need to be gutted.
I also agree that no one seems to save for a rainy day anymore. I keep reminding my 16yo to plan ahead. You never know what life brings your way. 4 years ago, hubby ended up in the hospital and then bedridden for 3 months. Its gonna take 3 more years to pay off the medical bills…and we had savings when it happened. Who knows where we would be if we hadn’t!
Nancy from mass says
Only one sink, I mean
kathy says
Have liked your blog for years. Wonder though why you post sooo many links to “deals” that encourages more consumption of goods? Seems at odds with your belief in simplicity and doing more with less.
Sallie Borrink says
Kathy,
I can’t speak for Mavis, but I know this something many bloggers struggle with. I do myself. The reality is it costs quite a bit to keep a busy website online (hosting, etc.). Add into that the fact that the blogger deserves to be paid for the time she/he invests… Where does that income come from? Either affiliate sales, ads, subscriptions, or selling something.
Marcia says
I imagine that some people actually need things –
Some of the deals are for books – I love books!
Some of the deals are for food – I have to eat!
Some of the deals are for clothing – I’ve got plenty of that, but it does wear out
I did buy a set of crochet hooks from a link here – what a great deal! And, well, I like to crochet. And we have no craft store within 40 miles.
JC says
I have this debate all the time. I don’t know that it is entitlement as much as it is a perceived need. I think a lot of people honestly believe they are doing their children and families a disservice by not buying the bigger house or name brand clothes or new car. They really truly believe that not being a part of the rat race and gaining “stuff” will make them unhappy. Success in our society is equated with a large number of expensive things, and not being successful is looked down on.
I personally find “making do” to give me a greater happiness than just buying the stuff, granted I grew up that way. I am always so proud when I learn a new skill, or have a bumper garden crop, or make something by hand. I honestly think that many people never experience that kind of happiness because they never seek the challenge, and so they think the only way to happiness is through money.
Glenda says
Mavis,
I think all of your points are well taken. We are a society of buy, buy, buy; throw away and buy more; have way more than we need; entitlement; and waste.
You might enjoy the series of books titled, Stories and Recipes of the Great Depression of the 1930’s, by Rita Van Amber. If memory serves, there are five books in the series. The books are chock full of tips of how to reuse items, how to make do, stories from those who survived the Depression, and lots and lots of wonderful basic recipes of the time. The choices were limited and the ladies did an amazing job of putting together meals out of almost nothing.
I read your blog daily and enjoy it very much. I particularly like these type of blog posts concerning things that we should all pause and think about.
Connie says
I think about this alot. Yes, there is much more to buy.
Shopping is a habit. Want to save money? Don’t go to the stores.
People of all incomes feel entitled to things whether they can afford them or not. If you are struggling to pay bills or put food on the table, you do not need a designer handbag. Use common sense.
It’s all just stuff. And in the end, as you age, you will want to get rid of all of it ! I still remember my grandmother’s house when we cleaned it out. Took less than a day. Most of her closets in spare bedrooms were empty except for a bit of out of season clothes. Drawers and cabinets were not overstuffed. She never ever went out and bought a ‘decor’ item for her home. Not saying it is bad to do that, just an example. She would buy new furniture when needed. But her goal was not to accumulate more stuff. She had nice things and used them.
As I told my children: There will always be new , great stuff out there. You cannot have it all. Learn to be content.
Martha says
Yes, unfortunately many are living in an entitled mentality and we can blame it on all kinds of things… parents, media, government, society, etc. I believe that the issue is much deeper than that, though. Humans are searching for something to fill up a hole in their hearts and souls. It can be filled with things purchased, food, time wasting, entertainment, gambling, shallow relationships…anything to mask the emptiness inside. Only God can fill that emptiness so that we don’t try to stuff “stuff” into our lives. When I forget Him, I tend to go for “stuff”, too.
Funny story – before we saved for our air conditioner, we had our windows open one hot summer day. As our guests left our home, we heard them say, “None of their furniture matches … and they don’t even care!” and they laughed hysterically as they walked away from our home. My husband and I just smiled. We’re not into keeping up with the Jones because we’d rather live within our means. We are both frugal to the core, but that doesn’t mean that we’re not tempted with the latest and greatest, though! It’s tough, but possible especially when you cut out excess media (like commercials, magazines, trips to the mall, etc), and if you keep your focus on being thankful for what you DO have! Great post here, Mavis. Lots to think about.
Jen Y says
For some reason we don’t seem to care that we’re lazy, selfish & have no self-control……which is basically what we are when we can’t stop spending. Too lazy to stay home & cook a meal instead of eating out, not enough self-control to plan ahead so we aren’t tempted to eat out & just selfish in that we’re willing to spend now instead of plan ahead so others (our children, government or other taxpayers) will have to pay for our selfishness in the future. It’s like we can’t see beyond tomorrow as if we’re still 5 yrs old.
We can find plenty of excuses for the hole we find ourselves in as well…..being so exhausted from working full time, shuttling kids to activities, ect …to be able to cook so we grab take out. Yet, if we did choose to live in a house we can afford, drive a car we can afford & limit our kids extra activities would both parents have to work? No, they wouldn’t because I know too many families personally who are living full happy lives by choosing to live within one income so that they have so much more freedom in the lives.
Some of us didn’t develop this character of appreciating what we have, contentment & generosity by adulthood. So we struggle with living within in our means & scramble around to find ways to get what we want now.
Harsh words I know but I also know many people choosing to live like generations from the past. We just rarely hear about them because it’s not glamorous. I love having friends who choose to live a good life, love each other & their community all while having the freedoms of no or low debt. Mavis you are such an encouragement to people like this & hopefully those struggling on the other side as well.
Rebecca W says
It sounds like many of us are striving to live a more simplistic and uncluttered life. My husband and I are in the process of moving (downsizing) after 20 years in the same home. It has been difficult, but liberating, to clean out after so many years – – – making decisions about what to keep and what to donate.
It is hard to resist the urge to buy more things, but I have learned, it is also a good feeling not to be weighed down by too much stuff. The more I work at it, the better I get at it.
Deb K says
Mavis
I cannot answer the question about shoes. I would say if someone thinks they have too many shoes, they probably do. But shoes are so much fun!
I guess I am not comfortable with people saying that “our” generation has a sense of entitlement. I suppose it is all in how you look at it. I do not think it is only our generation that has a sense of entitlement, but rather I believe that as American’s in general we all possess some sense of entitlement. I’m not just talking about material possessions, but about everything. Have you ever went to a store to purchase basic food staples such as milk, eggs, butter and flour and the store not have any? I would say 99.9% of the time the answer would be No. During the Great Depression and even as recent as WWII, not only could there have been the possibility that you did not have the money or store credit to obtain these items, but there was a chance that the store would not have the items. Now, if that were the case, someone would be outraged.
We have the expectation that our children should be able to obtain a free education, at least a high school diploma. However, my grandmother was in a generation where first off, it was believed that women did not need to be educated past the 6th grade and second, if you wanted your child to receive a high school diploma, you would have to pay for the privilege.
We believe that we are entitled to the same healthcare as anyone else, even if we cannot pay for the services or medication.
So you can look at this from many sides. Is it a bad thing to have a sense of entitlement? I don’t believe so. It implies that we should “settle” and never demand or expect better. Without a sense of entitlement where would we be today? Should you bury yourself in debt to keep up appearances? That is for each individual to decide.
Ellen in Clackamas says
I had a similar experience as Deborah J. Getting closer to retirement and my Milennial (age 34) son was looking through my SS and pension papers and exclaimed–Wow you aren’t going to be doing too badly in retirement! I guess he figured since I was living so frugally I was going to be broke and depending on him for assistance! I did tell him though he “owed” me some years since I have provided room and board for him for so long!
Deborah J says
Yes, I think there is too much of a perception that if you are doing well it is…visible. Our way of quietly building security and making do has been misinterpreted I find.
I guess we’ve never really talked about money even with close relatives.
…and my oldest moved out at 25. She said any longer was going to be embarrassing. Lol