How to Deal With Annoying House Guests

Since my kids are older and off doing their own thing, I have come accustomed to having a ridiculous amount of {quiet} time to myself everyday.  Now that the holidays are approaching, and with them, the impending possibility of house guests, I know that I am going to have to get used to a higher traffic/volume around my usually quiet existence.  It’s not at all that any of my family make annoying house guests {though, I have heard some horror stories from friends, let me tell you, Bob!}  It’s more that it disrupts my routine–and for better or worse, I am a routine person.  I like my little rituals, and I can only stand my zen being jostled for so long.

If you are in the same boat, or worse, have post traumatic stress disorder from previous family visits, here’s a couple of ways to ease up the tension and get through the holidays without a mental breakdown:

1. Let it all hang out.  Okay, I mean that FIGURATIVELY, not literally, because that would be weird.  What I mean is that there is no need to impress your guests by pretending to be someone your not.  Don’t stress yourself out by cleaning until your hands are raw.  If you usually live with a little clutter, that’s the deal they sign on for when they stay with you.  Of course, change the sheets and spruce up the place a bit, but not to the point of driving yourself to drink.  Plus, you really don’t want them to be too comfortable, they might overstay their welcome :).
2. Set boundaries.  When they plan a visit, let them know you would love to see them, but put exact perimeters on HOW long.  Say, “We would love to have you on Saturday and Sunday.  After that, we have to get back to business.”
3. Let criticisms roll off of your back.  Sure, your Aunt Zelda might think you baby your husband, or allow to many treats…but who cares?  The more power annoying guests have over you, the less in control you feel.
4. For notoriously difficult houseguests, put a safety net in place.  Make plans before and after their visit.  This allows a rigid time frame that they can stay–and your hands will be tied.  “I’m sorry, but we’ve already made plans for ____ and ____, but we would love to have you for a couple of days in between.”  It’s a way better option than having to openly let them know you can’t stand it when they visit and stay too long.
5. Remember that your guests probably feel out of their routine too.  I think sometimes people think they have to spend every waking second together when they are visiting, but alone time is still good for everyone.  Excuse yourself early and head to bed–curl up with a book or your laptop and let the day melt away.  Let your guests know that they are welcome to watch t.v. etc., but that you are saying goodnight.  They will likely appreciate the downtime as well.
6. Offer to pay for a hotel.  Okay, I know this one is extreme, but if 24 hour a day guests drive you mad, maybe a hotel is in order.  That way, they can still be at your house by day–eating your food, etc., but at night, you will be queen/king of the castle again.  It sucks because you may have to come out of pocket, but if it saves the holidays, it just might be your little gift to yourself.
7. For extended stay visits, remember that you are not a dancing monkey.  You don’t have to entertain 24/7, and any daily errands you need to do to keep your household running are fair play.  Let your guest know that you are headed to do x,y, and z.  They are welcome to come along, or they can relax at home.  Life shouldn’t stop, or you will start to feel more pressure.
8. Make a plan and do some pre-planning.  Find activities that your guests might like and break up the day with them.  Also, ask your guests if they have any foods that they just can’t stand or that they love.  Plan to make the ones they love {though, it’s tempting to get them out faster by making the ones they don’t :)}.  That way, there won’t be any awkward moments at dinner when your guest dry heaves at the sight of your meal.
9. Let guests take an active part in your life.  This one is a tough one for me.  I like my kitchen to be just so, etc., but sometimes guests LOVE the opportunity to help  out in your daily life–even if they really are getting a little more in the way than anything.  Let the MIL make her boy’s favorite casserole one night.  Ask Uncle Arty to help out by getting the folding chairs out–or whatever.  It gives everyone a little something to do and makes guests seem like a little less of a nuisance.

I totally get that having friends and family to share the holidays with is a more of a gift than a burden, but in the moment, when stress is high and space is at a premium, it can get a little tense.  So, here’s to hoping that your days with  your family are merry and bright this holiday season {and if not, here’s to hoping that the egg nog never runs low :)}.

~Mavis