So now that I’m a working woman, I know a thing or two about the workplace. I mean, I won’t be an expert or anything for at least a few more days {ha!}, but I have learned a LOT about looking busy when you are absolutely being non-productive by watching some of my coworkers. They are pros at faking busy. Here are some of the tips I’ve picked up on:
Take a lot of water breaks: Trips to the water cooler can kill large quantities of time if you talk to everyone you know on the way there and back and walk at a snail’s pace.
Take a lot of bathroom breaks: If you follow the first tip, this one might not be faked. Lots of liquids means lots of potty breaks. Follow the advice in tip #1 to drag those breaks out as long as possible as well.
Point at things: When the boss comes near, point at your screen and head nod to your neighbor as if you are sharing something of utmost importance with him.
Hide your game playing: Have a full browser full of open work tabs pulled up and ready to toggle to at a moment’s notice.
Appoint a lookout: If you have a trusted coworker, trade off standing guard and using a predetermined signal to notify the others that the brass is near.
Ask questions: You can kill so much time by simply asking monotonous questions that have no merit and that 9 times out of 10 you already know the answer to. But you’ll seem engaged and the minutes will fly by.
Talk on the phone: To no one. Just have the receiver to your ear while you play games, check email or read up on the Kardashians. You’ll immediately look like you can’t be bothered.
Tell people you can’t be bothered: Let people know repeatedly that your schedule is so packed you have no time for their interruptions.
Write in a notebook: It’ll look like you are taking furious notes or writing down important ideas and strategies, when in fact you are making note of movie start times and building your grocery list.
Actually work: I know, I know. Defeats the point of this whole post, but hear me out. If you diligently work a majority of them time, you’ll gain the reputation as a hard worker and no one will question you when you slack. Plus, you’ll hit all your deadlines and maybe even earn Employee of the Month this way. It’s a win/win.
Any tried and true strategies you’ve seen on how to look busy when you’re actually doing nothing? Do tell!
Back to work I go,
~Mavis
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