I just got off the phone with the HH.
Yada yada yada, we were talking about how hard it would be to be single and how much he misses Lucy and how it took him 14 minutes to figure out how to turn on the washing machine.
Blah blah blah… I jokingly I asked him if he had lost any weight.
He laughed. Then went on to tell me that he actually weighed himself this morning and that he has lost 8 pounds in the almost 3 weeks that I’ve been gone.
For the love of all things good in this world.
I.am.speechless.
Mrs. HB, Mrs. HB’s MIL, Girly Girl, The Church Lady, Hulda, if you are reading this, would you mind making the HH a HOT meal and bringing it over to our house?
I will bring you a bunch of garden fresh vegetables when I return.
Seriously.
~Mavis
P.S. I’m just curious at what point do you think he will figure out that if you put something on a pan and put it in the oven {and turn on the oven of course} hot, magical food will be ready in 45-60 minutes?
P.S.S. Have you ever left your husband home alone to fend for himself? How did he manage with the little woman away?
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Susan S. says
Good gravy… I feel your confusion. My HH is the same way. I have to type out a daily meal plan with the simplest of ideas/recipes for each meal (muffin with banana and juice, PB&J with grapes and chips, microwave a bowl of soup and eat with crackers, etc…). I’m often perplexed at how he manages to make it to and from work everyday but somehow can’t think ahead enough to fill his belly. I guess in some ways I’m just glad I’m missed. Maybe I’d be blue if my absence went off without a hitch… Sounds like you’re nicely matched 🙂
Cassandra says
As long as my HH can turn the grill on he will happily feed himself and our kids. I always make sure we have plenty of propane, steak, and chicken.
Cindi says
My husband does not/will not cook. And that’s okay. He has many other admirable traits. When I go away I leave a stack of pre-made frozen meals in the freezer, and a I leave a list tacked on the front that tells him what is in there. He will take out one dish in the morning to thaw and heat it up for dinner (he has always made his own breakfasts and lunches.)
If I don’t do this, he will eat fast food.
Every night.
Not good for the budget or the waistline.
I have a bunch of divided dishes with covers that I got years ago and my homemade TV dinners go in there — usually I just portion out all the leftovers from dinners for a week or two before I head out of town.
Amy says
Haha! My husband loves to fend for himself. Usually that means he’ll find a way to incorporate all the processed foods that I won’t buy: frozen creamed chipped beef served on frozen waffles, ramen noodles, microwavable burritos, etc. And scrambled eggs with hot dog pieces mixed in for breakfast, and ice cream instead of half&half in his coffee. He’d probably *gain* the amount your HH has lost!
Mavis says
I think single men {and men whose wives decide to hit the open highway a couple of times a year} are keeping the processed food industry afloat.
TJD says
I used to have the opposite problem. Once I came home after only a couple of days gone and my husband had cooked 7 pounds of bacon! He and the kids were eating it at every meal. Bacon and eggs for breakfast, BLT’s for lunch. Baked potatoes with bacon for dinner. He was in “hog” heaven. I don’t thinks my girls so much. I asked him why? “because the big package was on sale” Why did you cook it all, I asked? “Because you know there’s never ENOUGH bacon” I told him bacon was a condiment, not a main course. Not when I cook he says!
Mavis says
Haha! That’s awesome.
Tholl says
I was noticing how it looks like Lucy has lost a few lbs since you’ve been gone as well, maybe he uses Lucy as an excuse to sneak a treat to share with? My hubby has started a fire cooking spaghetti before, hard as I try to teach him, he just isn’t interested.
Mavis Butterfield says
Yep. I can totally tell that Lucy has lost a few pounds. It must have been all those treats the HH was slipping her on the side.
JC says
My HH can prepare meatloaf, chili, and steakums… In all honestly I think he would gain weight while I was gone because there would be no one there to force him to eat vegetables.
Jen Young says
My husband really doesn’t need me…though he does eat more salads when I’m around. When I’m gone he runs to the grocery store to buy lots of beef(steak, burgers…), pork (bacon, pork chops) , eggs & mashed potatoes (just heat & serve).
He lives it up eating all of his favorite junk food. But he is a type I diabetic & actually takes charge of his diet most of the time. He loves that I cook most of our meals & he splurges when I’m away but for the most part he sticks with his healthy diet even when I’m gone.
Cass says
My ex kept 2 children alive while I was in the hospital for 10 days (severe lung infection). Since it was an emergency admission I had NOTHING prepared. He would come see me after work and I would tell him what and how to fix dinner. He went home, did it, put the kids to bed, washed the clothes I had sent home to bring them back to me the next day. When I came home it was all my job again….but they all lived and thrived while I was gone.
My current squeeze does all our cooking. My momma told me “never admit you know how to do something or it will be your job for the rest of your life”….so when I met this man I told him I didn’t know how to cook. So now, when it is my turn to cook, I call for pizza….and use his card to pay for it!! LOL I am sure he would survive if I was gone, no matter how long it was.
Kathie S. says
Early in our marriage (pre-kids) I left for a short trip out of state. I came home to a huge pile of pizza boxes. It was just my husband and the dog. At least he fed the dog. The second time I was gone I had to be on bed rest and monitored in the hospital (daughter was a preemie). My husband took our son and went shopping at Costco. He bought a ton of Kraft mac & cheese and was planning on most meals consisting of that. He can work a microwave and a grill otherwise it will be cereal. He did try his hand at meatloaf once and it was interesting. But he tried. 🙂
Mavis Butterfield says
I checked the CC statement and he hasn’t ordered a pizza yet. LOL.
Marcia says
Ha ha we used to be the opposite. Dinner, for me, was bagels or takeout. He was the cook. Then we got fat on his cooking and I took over.
I travel for work very very rarely. He’s perfectly able to make food (though it’s been awhile), but for some reason, our friends will take pity on him and invite him and the kids over half the time. Seriously. He travels a LOT (6 times a year??) and I’ve not been invited anywhere ever.
Mavis says
I totally get it. Everyone assumes you can fend for yourself, keep the house running, get the kids where they need to be, but the minute YOU leave town, people come out of the woodwork to help your poor family survive. I guess that says something about how much confidence they have in you when you are around, at least!
Ellen in Clackamas says
My Dad NEVER cooked at home yet when he and Grandpa and “the boys” went off hunting for 2 weeks at a time they never came back looking like they had missed any meals! Not sure what they might have cooked because they bought all the groceries on the way out of town but he never offered to help in the kitchen. Of course he did many other things around the house and farm…but I wish he would have cooked too because Mom wasn’t a very good cook!.
Cherri says
My husband says that is what restaurants are for! 🙂 He actually prefers the “hot lights” at the quickie marts, cause it is fast and convenient. I also have two sisters-in-law that are very thoughtful and take pity on him and invite him over for dinner in my absence. Of course often times those two sisters-in-law and I travel together, when that happens the fellows get together and hit a restaurant. My husband is very lucky in this respect because he can not boil water without “BURNING” it. I always tell him, he doesn’t have any idea how much he needs me! jk
Nichole says
When my son was about five years old, I decided to spend the weekend at my sisters. So my hubby is in charge of the house and all its inhabitants ( one child, four cats). I get a call that evening from my son, he says “mommy, I’m hungry” “can you tell daddy to feed me”. I asked my hubby what was going on, he replies, ” he didn’t say he needed lunch”. I jokingly told my son that if something ever happens to me, find another mommy fast!!
Marcia says
Oh. My. God.
Jonathan says
Possibly one of the few guys reading here, but actually it’s the same for me 🙂 If I leave my wife and daughter home alone for dinner they will either end up eating scrambled eggs or fast food, since I cook all the dinners after I return home from work. I’m kind of obsessed with cooking, so it’s partially my fault since I shoo anyone out of the kitchen while I’m cooking up the deliciousness!
Mavis says
Lucky ladies!
Lauren says
My husband is culinarily impaired. Much to my dismay, and the damage of several nice pans, he has slowly been teaching himself to cook a few things over the last year or so. He has largely been guided by geek blogs on the internet and reality tv cooking shows, so you can imagine the results.
About a week ago, I left him with our daughter and a frozen pizza. When I came home, there were five dinner plates in the sink, along with the pizza pan (and box), and somehow there was pizza sauce on the kitchen ceiling above the stove. (I still have no idea exactly how that happened!) I was informed they had to get a clean plate for each slice of frozen pizza so it had “proper presentation”.
Renay says
Here’s something…I left once for a week a while ago to see my mom in Texas. Came home to ‘WE need to do laundry.’ Royal ‘we’, there. So, folding clothes and what do I find? NEW UNDERWEAR. When questioned, he said ‘ I ran out so went to the store.’ True story people.
Renay says
PS – I refer to my HH and son as ‘Ward and the Beav’. They have many fine traits, but housework and cooking ARE NOT AMONG THEM! haha
Heather in MA says
Note to self:
TEACH THE BOY TO COOK!
Jenn in Indiana says
Mavis, you and your husband your so cute! I bet he is missing you and Lucy like crazy!
Cheryl @ Living Design says
Mine used to have trouble fending for himself, but he’s been learning a lot in the kitchen the last couple years. I just got home from a trip last night, and he had some home made creme brulee waiting for me — I think I may need to go away more often!
Jamie H says
My husband and I spent an academic semester apart while he was doing research in china. I came for a visit a little more than halfway through the trip. I spent my last full day in China making enough freezer meals & snacks so that he would have something every sing day until he came home.
I think when it’s your second nature you know how to be flexible about things.we went shopping together while I was there and he mentioned he missed bacon (the store didn’t sell american bacon). But next to it was pancetta. I knew it was an easy sub. He had no idea.
Kari says
During one of our moves, my husband lived in an apartment for 4 months while the kids and I stayed behind to sell the house. He ate totinos pizzas every.single.night. He didn’t starve, but I’m sure he was malnourished. Yuck!
Lisa Millar says
Post and comments have been fabulous to read!! I have had a good chuckle this morning.
My husband is quite domesticated in most areas but cooking is not one of his forte’s.
He is the king of a bowl of cereal!
I do dinners, but breakfast and lunch are up to him.
Mind you, once we bought our beef in bulk with all the good cuts, he googled/youtubed how to bbq a steak properly and he does a divine job!!!
The rare times I have been away, I haven’t prepared a slew of meals. He survived tho. 🙂
The fellows I grew up with were trained in all areas of domesticity by their mother – not only can they cook & clean, & iron, but they sew as well! I used to get a real kick out of seeing my 6ft-something huge friend sitting at a sewing machine making board shorts for all his friends!! 😀
Jan says
lol, I used to go to AL Conventions every July & to FL to visit my mom in spring…I’d spend lots of time making freezer meals in divided plates w/ lids, label everything with reheat time, etc…There were two for each day! Never failed, I’d come home after a week for each trip & find at least half of the meals untouched…he is not technologically inclined (microwave, cable box, computer are all beyond him), so rather than have to put forth effort to eat, he would either get fast food or eat cereal…I quit cooking like that! I don’t do any traveling anymore, so I gave away the freezer meal dishes to someone else…Many days he will still eat a bowl of cereal (or 2 or 3) rather than a meal…works for me, I can make a salad & have little work or cleanup!! I love to cook but if nobody is going to eat it, why bother?
Sandra says
My husband lived on his own for a few years after college, and did a respectable job taking care of himself. I did most of the cooking after we got married, until I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer after our daughter was born. He managed to work several jobs and take care of me and our baby for that year. He won’t grocery shop, though. (Not sure if he’s afraid or allergic to stores…) He did feed the baby cookies for breakfast when I was in hospital having surgery. (She survived fine.) And he doesn’t know where the oil goes in the car and can’t figure out the fancy new HVAC thermostat. But for the most part we can each do the other’s jobs.
Sarah says
This reminds me so much of my dad. Last year my mom was in the hospital and my father had to cook his own dinner… He is 72. In over 50 years of marriage he has never been responsible for any of his own food. It took him 20 min to figure out how to take a lid off a metal can… And another 20 to figure out the microwave. But about 1 min to realize you don’t out a metal can in the microwave. Lol!
Jessica H says
I once left my husband alone for a weekend, and I got snowed in where I was staying, so it was an extra day before I returned. He went to make himself some Ramen noodles in the microwave and forgot to add the water. He turned the microwave on and about a minute or so later, the whole house was filled with smoke and the microwave was black! He opened the window next to the microwave and threw the whole bowl and smoking contents out the window into the snow storm and we didn’t find it again until the next snow melt! It took months for the smell to go away when the microwave was run. 🙂 I don’t leave Ramen noodles in the house when I leave for the weekend anymore. 😉
jenny says
My husband is on his own for feeding himself and the kids on some nights as I work nightshift, it definitely is not a well rounded meal but they could survive! He can follow a recipe just fine and has a Traeger 🙂 But, when I am home it is all up to me!
AlysonRR says
My husband is actually a very good cook, but he doesn’t manage time expectations well. Once, we invited his colleague and her husband to dinner and he didn’t finish cooking the meal until about 9:30pm. When he does the main for holidays, it’s frequently done one to two hours later than his initial estimate.
He’s been working out of state for awhile and he does great feeding himself, presumably without such time problems. He hardly ever does takeout and packs his own lunches.
When we’re home, it’s different. I plan and make almost all the meals. He’ll do pasta and (frozen Ikea) meatballs or sausage, fried rice, chicken nuggets and fries, etc. Anything more complicated is mine.
Our main cooking problem used to be holiday meals – we’d both be trying to cook at the same time and run into each other and who needs what appliance, etc. Now, after 25 years of marriage, we have one person take the Chef role, and the other is the Sous Chef, depending on who is doing more dishes to prep. It’s working out so well – I’m just sorry it took about 22 years to figure out how to cooperate in the kitchen, LOL.
loriann says
Whenever I travel back to visit family, I have precooked meals then frozen them in Foodsaver bags in the freezer so my hubby is completely cared for while I’m away. One year it was for 30 days, and I had that many dinners in the freezer (because this is also how I cook for our camping trips ahead of time). Interestingly, the problem with this plan is that he has to remember to remove them from the freezer a day before cooking them, which requires only opening the bag and microwaving the meals he is used to eating, or boiling them in bag as we do when we are camping. However, I return home to only half the meals gone usually. He recently admitted to calling for pizzas! I may not precook so much in future!
Anna says
Ha! This is amusing :). My husband and I both cook and he’ll bake something if I equip him with a recipe. Although I come up with most of the ideas and do most of the cooking he’s the ultimate sou chef and he has no prob feeding himself while I’m away. Of course he’ll enjoy a bit of take out too, but mostly he’s good to whip up his own food.